A day in the Chennai-life of AliGrae
(or the day the President of India visited)
4th September 2006
Theme song for the day:
Oh what a beautiful morning!
Oh what a beautiful day!
I have a wonderful feeling,
pollution is coming my way! [repeat ad nauseam]
07.00am: Our toilet blocked.
07.15am: Showered in brownish water, which we know is in someway connected to the toilet blockage
8.00am: Flag down autorickshaw out the front of our hotel.
8.00- 8.15 am: “Ride from hell”, so called for the following reasons; i) the driver started smoking a joint whilst navigating Chennai’s disastrous peak-hour traffic ii) He re-arranged his rear-view mirror to get a better look at A’s boobs (they were already more viewed than the Mona Lisa) iii) He tried to charge us double the price.
8.15-8.30am: frisked vigorously by security lady and had bag (with camera and passports) seized. We managed to get the passports into G’s pocket, but the camera was forbidden. We sent the next four hours hoping camera was sill in bag.
8.30- 12.30pm: Four very long hours were spent listening to Chennai’s “elite” speaking about the university and how modern it is (note: the other day a large chunk of the roof fell down outside our room); how technologically advanced it is (note: there is one computer between 23 full time teaching staff in English); and how wonderfully situated the university is (note: today, the 5th, it smells like drying fish, and yesterday it smelt like someone had pissed in the office). There were however some very funny moments, like when the chief minister of Tamil Nadu walked on stage (sorry, we mean waddled) and took his seat next to the president of India. The chief minister looked like Jabba the Hut, the chair was engulfed and Jabba leaned his body to one side to prop up his head on the back of the chair. He could not even walk to the podium for his speech, which was in Tamil and went something like this: “dur wean surum –ho ho Hans Solo”. The performance was only to be outdone by the President with his “Hair-part of Destiny”, so called because a Grasshopper (or something of that size) would view his head as a theme park, complete with slide down to a deep crevasse and a chairlift back up the other side again. Then there was the Vice Chancellor, and his list of thanks which sounded more like a horse racing announcer: “the president is in front by a head, and the chief minister is sticking to the rails.”
12.30-1.00pm: View the newly renovated Senate House. We were not sure if we were to be part of this elite party, but we tried to get in, and (perhaps thanks to the much admired boobs?) were successful, and were able to steal food. Yay!
1.00pm Pub! Found a beauty a couple of weeks back, or Lonely “the bible” planet did. Actually could be a pub in Freo; the Waiters are dressed like Jedi Knights (to keep with the Star Wars theme) and food is pretty good too and not too pricey. Yay! There goes the arvo….. Actually it is our second wedding anniversary, so we celebrated in style!
Sometime in the evening: Beery goodness makes Chennai disappear. Only other highlight was waiting by the phone (humming Lawrence of Arabia theme music) for dad to ring to let us know that he had indeed survived the camel safari he took into the desert in Rajasthan.
Late evening: toilet still blocked.
4th September 2006
Theme song for the day:
Oh what a beautiful morning!
Oh what a beautiful day!
I have a wonderful feeling,
pollution is coming my way! [repeat ad nauseam]
07.00am: Our toilet blocked.
07.15am: Showered in brownish water, which we know is in someway connected to the toilet blockage
8.00am: Flag down autorickshaw out the front of our hotel.
8.00- 8.15 am: “Ride from hell”, so called for the following reasons; i) the driver started smoking a joint whilst navigating Chennai’s disastrous peak-hour traffic ii) He re-arranged his rear-view mirror to get a better look at A’s boobs (they were already more viewed than the Mona Lisa) iii) He tried to charge us double the price.
8.15-8.30am: frisked vigorously by security lady and had bag (with camera and passports) seized. We managed to get the passports into G’s pocket, but the camera was forbidden. We sent the next four hours hoping camera was sill in bag.
8.30- 12.30pm: Four very long hours were spent listening to Chennai’s “elite” speaking about the university and how modern it is (note: the other day a large chunk of the roof fell down outside our room); how technologically advanced it is (note: there is one computer between 23 full time teaching staff in English); and how wonderfully situated the university is (note: today, the 5th, it smells like drying fish, and yesterday it smelt like someone had pissed in the office). There were however some very funny moments, like when the chief minister of Tamil Nadu walked on stage (sorry, we mean waddled) and took his seat next to the president of India. The chief minister looked like Jabba the Hut, the chair was engulfed and Jabba leaned his body to one side to prop up his head on the back of the chair. He could not even walk to the podium for his speech, which was in Tamil and went something like this: “dur wean surum –ho ho Hans Solo”. The performance was only to be outdone by the President with his “Hair-part of Destiny”, so called because a Grasshopper (or something of that size) would view his head as a theme park, complete with slide down to a deep crevasse and a chairlift back up the other side again. Then there was the Vice Chancellor, and his list of thanks which sounded more like a horse racing announcer: “the president is in front by a head, and the chief minister is sticking to the rails.”
12.30-1.00pm: View the newly renovated Senate House. We were not sure if we were to be part of this elite party, but we tried to get in, and (perhaps thanks to the much admired boobs?) were successful, and were able to steal food. Yay!
1.00pm Pub! Found a beauty a couple of weeks back, or Lonely “the bible” planet did. Actually could be a pub in Freo; the Waiters are dressed like Jedi Knights (to keep with the Star Wars theme) and food is pretty good too and not too pricey. Yay! There goes the arvo….. Actually it is our second wedding anniversary, so we celebrated in style!
Sometime in the evening: Beery goodness makes Chennai disappear. Only other highlight was waiting by the phone (humming Lawrence of Arabia theme music) for dad to ring to let us know that he had indeed survived the camel safari he took into the desert in Rajasthan.
Late evening: toilet still blocked.
posted by aligrae | 4:20 pm
4 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Congrats on the 2nd anniversary and, of course, for your wonderful lessons on inter-cultural understanding! ;)
Hope the toilet's working now ...
Ali! Obviously the universe is trying to tell you that you need to be wearing a Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi-style gold bikini - then everyone in India will fall at your feet and worship you...
Okay, maybe that's not the best plan. But I will stop complaining about Perth plumbing issues.
Im still thinking the princess Leia costume is the way to go. Such adventures. Im jealous (of some things - I'll keep my forest air if its all the same)
Big shout out for the 2nd anniversary too
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